Here, have a smiley face, or a big ‘thumbs up’,
Hash tag fucking YOLO,
But it doesn’t really matter though
Because what really digs at me
Is your tendency to misconstrue;
Deliberately morph my innocent words
In to a gripe and bellyache.
This society or fashion of modern age –
To pout like a preposterous pilchard,
To capture every mind-numbing moment
On Instagram with sepia toned facsimile –
Is quite simply ludicrous; daft, stupid, juvenile!
Since when did triviality and frivolity
Become a daily routine to the masses?
Snapchatting every meal you eat;
Tweeting throughout your classes;
Hawking the internet to profess your love
To an adulterated agent of Satan.
All the while starving your wasted brain cells
Whilst the planet is decaying by the day;
I don’t give a shit what you think is ‘cray’,
I want you to cherish a priceless Monet!
But these irate cries of despair
Will fail to ignite a revolution;
Therefore I don’t expect a cure
To this intellectual pollution.
But if I am to continue adapting
To these ludicrous hash tag trends,
I don’t want to be pestered by supposed friends
To dignify their social bubble
With a fat smiley sticker on Facebook,
Just to let them know I am not sulky.
I hate to burst their bubble, but words transcend
Computer generated communication!
Do they remember this thing called integration?
I sometimes forget why I care…
Oh yes, that’s right –
Because I’m the cantankerous one,
Due to my lack of smileys and thumbs up.
Well if these are to be my final lines
I’ll ease off the incessant whines.
I hope you’ve all learned from this little spat.
Now pull a funny face for this Snapchat.
Created: 27th February 2014.
This poem was penned a day before my first Poetry Slam. I was chatting to various people on Facebook and, to put it bluntly, they pissed me off by insisting I was ‘grumpy all the time’. Their reasoning? Because my sentences are straight to the point; lacking emoticons, thumbs up, smileys etc. Imbeciles! In a fit of rage (which are occurring increasingly lately) I wrote this down. From the feedback I’ve received, people seem to enjoy the ranting aspect of it.