I Hear Everything

I hear everything.
Every creak, every groan.
Each ticking of the clock hand
Counting down my inevitable end.
The clambering of the pipes,
The whirring of the freezer,
The perpetual drip of the tap
That they still haven’t got fixed!

I hear the imperceptible whispers,
And the lies that they mutter,
To satisfy their invidious appetites.
They are not fooling me!
I can hear them!
Like a cacophony of pain
Beating its noxious rhythm
In to my fragile crown.

But I am on my own!
No one understands what it’s like
To grow up fearing familiar footsteps
And masking any hint of fear.
Befriending my only shadow,
For he was the only who stayed
And remained vigilant in accompanying me,
Throughout the dark corridors that still haunt me.

Even now, I fear that it will be seized,
And I will be left to linger
On a thin thread of wire
Hanging above the Pandemonium.
This isn’t a life worth living,
When my every breath is a consort
To the orchestra of torment
Stuck on a repeat cycle.

I shriek and cry at night,
But to the absent men
It is nothing but a distant idea,
A whisper in the wind.
And of course it is just in my head,
An intense reaction to the pills,
That they force feed me every meal,
To keep me from doing harm.

But to keep me from harming whom?
Do they fear for themselves,
And their pathetic comfort?
Or perhaps it is me they fear.
What I know, what I can see,
What I can hear.
What they would like to keep,
From the world; from all of you!

This world is not infinite;
It is soon to be dead,
But quicker than you all believe,
Your security and comfort is brief.
I can hear it coming, I can feel it.
But my warnings are dismissed
As the cries of a madman; a folly.
They imprison me and seize my voice.

So I am resigned to my condition,
Exposed and vulnerable to my curse.
Trapped within my own solitary shell
And condemned to my incarceration.
I know what is coming; I can hear it.
It shrieks and screams in my head
Until I can do nothing but wail!
I hear everything – silence.

Created: April/May 2013.
A poem I penned towards the end of my first year at University. I’ve only just got around to uploading it! Not really sure what my inspiration was for this one. I guess I was in the ‘zone’.

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