Is There Something You Need To Tell Us?

‘Is there something you need to tell us?’
Heart pounding, ears ringing.
Shaking like a tree in the wind,
A daunting torrent of fear.

My throat dries, a drought has come.
No sounds that I can hear
But the intense beating of my heart
Piercing my lungs, so I struggle to breathe.

‘Is there something you need to tell us?’
I hear him saying it in a cold, menacing voice.
I see her staring at me, her eyes like daggers
Lunging at me where it hurts the most.

Now I see everything
Every bad memory, every haunting nightmare
Stamping away in my psyche
Screaming at me, and I want it to end.

But how can it?
For it is no one’s fault but my own
My own weakness of curiosity, wanting to know
Of wanting everything to be right, in a life that has always said no.

Why can’t this be easier? Why can’t everything just fit together?
Like the perfect family jigsaw, no unwanted gaps.
Why can’t everyone just get along for my sake?
It’s all I’ve ever wanted, instead of the lies.

Lying every second of every day
Concealing how I really feel.
Because they would never understand.
They’d never understand how strong I feel.

Of all the nights I’ve been crying,
For every frowning tear drop
The turmoil in my mind
And the scary voices whispering to me
Will they ever go away?

No. It’s hard to put a smile on my face
To act as if everything is okay,
When deep inside, my inner child is weeping
And begging for it to be easier tomorrow.

So here I am again.

‘Is there something you need to tell us?’

My head says to tell the truth.
But what’s the point? Nothing ever changes.
So I go back to the beginning.
And here I am again…

This is perhaps the most difficult poem I have ever attempted to write, simply because of the intensity of emotion I felt at the time. I was angry, upset, terrified, confused… I sat in my friend’s room and grabbed a pen and paper and just wrote. It is not the best structured poem in the world, but this was something I NEEDED to get down on paper.
Created: 2012

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons
%d bloggers like this: